December 15th 2010

December 15 2010                         3 days since I landed from D.R, it was a very long visit,  I was having a normal day at work, & one of my best friends Ozbe called me & asked me to go with him to pick up our canvases ( which we both have been slacking to go get from the last art show, because of our busy schedules ) I told him I would meet him at his house, & I began my journey.

I get on the train and take it to Ozbe’s stop and walk over to his house. His brother Raziel was there, so I chopped it up with him before he went to go make moves. As Raziel & I was chopping it up, this strange thought entered my mind, & the thought  ” what if mommy passes away today  ” now the reason I thought that was because every time Ozbe & I went to get the art, something came up.  IN COMES OZBE with a smile from ear to ear, (as I just came from DR a few days ago)  We are both excited to hang, and even more excited to get the canvases!  Ozbe had a 22ounce Presidente beer, he’s getting ready to chug and he’s struggling to open it…….My phone rings.

I look down and it is my cousin Daphne…. My heart stopped beating for a second, my hands shake….. Daphne isn’t one to call me often, & it’s not unusual, she’s family, we both are usually busy.

I answer the phone & Daphne tries to mask her crying.

I asked her when….  She told me my passed away 10 minutes prior to her calling me…. I hang up the phone, not one tear not one single tear dropped…. I picked up my phone again and I call my little sister, Ozbe notices something wrong, I tell putty mommy just passed away, I hear her drop her phone and  crying historically.

Ozbe overhears me tell my sis. Ozbe asks if this was my step mom or real mom because I wasn’t crying, I told him my real mom, I explained to him I’m strong, I’m the backbone of all 5 of my siblings I keep us together, & I’m the youngest. I have to be strong for them.

He hands me the beer, I hate beer, but I started to drink it as we made our way for some much needed air to get my artwork. My phone is ringing nonstop….. I don’t want to talk.

We get to the gallery, it was closed……. the ride helped soothe me somewhat, that’s when Ozbe told me ” yo Z as long as I’ve known you I have never ever saw you sad or mad I don’t know how you do it ”

I’ve been through a lot, I’ve been to more funerals than birthdays…  It’s a curse, it’s literally a  curse.

We arrive to my home thats when my cousin AR meets me at the door & cries, we are all friends/Family so he shed the tears I needed to shed…… The pain was too much for me to cry, this was my mother…… My one and only……. I couldn’t do much but think about everything we’ve been through….. But that’s for another day.

Rest In Peace Mommy.

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